Nighttime Comics Lampoon Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's top hosts spent their broadcast criticizing President Donald Trump's newly announced visa program, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play arrangement for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Analysis

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock Christmas song about the president. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, then handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys each thing he comes into contact with."

The subject was the controversial plan which enables international individuals to buy U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, with a "top-tier" version for 5 million. A government website promises approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick thought here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the card is also designed to "extract cash" from firms wanting to hire skilled workers, involving large payments. "That's a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these people completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let affluent overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to update that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining approval ratings amid financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative media defenses of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.